Not Okay by Brett Axel

Author:Brett Axel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Vinal Publishing
Published: 2020-08-17T00:00:00+00:00

12.

The few days before Friday were spent well enough, practicing, doing pushups, shaving and trying to keep shaved, and buying clean clothes with some of the money Sharon left me. I hardly noticed the time go by until Sharon was back at my door. Then I knew it was Friday.

“You get it?” I asked.

“Not exactly, Peter, I was afraid too. If the cops traced the gun to my father they could catch you.”

“That’s just great,” I started, not yelling, but raising my voice. Reached for a cigarette but ended up not taking one out.

“Wait,” Sharon interrupted.

“What?” I asked.

“How about this?” Sharon offered, bringing out a ten-inch-long, black bladed hunting knife with an equally black handle and an even blacker leather sheath.

“I bought it for you, it’s dark. Will it work?”

I always used to talk before, but I’d gotten started telling Sharon things by grimacing at her, so I kept on, and that’s what I did then. I grimaced at her.

“It’s the best I could do,” Sharon explained.

“I could use a ride to New Jersey,” I said, putting the knife in the bag she had brought me before.

“I better not,” Sharon replied.

“I thought you wanted to help,” I said.

“If you need an alibi, I should be far away from the crime, you know,” Sharon said.

“What crime?” I asked.

“You know, killing Uncle Will. It is murder.”

“No, it isn’t,” I told her, “Murder only applies to killing human beings. Uncle Will is a monster. By fucking little boys, he gives up his humanity, you said so. He’s a monster, not a person, so it isn’t murder. The worst I’ll be guilty of is cruelty to animals.”

That’s what I told Sharon, or something like it, and I think that’s what you should say in court too. That’s how I’d like you to defend me now that I think of it. I can’t be guilty of murder if the person I killed wasn’t human, and he wasn’t, he was a monster. You know he was too, a predatory monster.

So anyway, Sharon actually thought I was going to fuck her for the knife. Well, the knife and the money and everything else she gave me.

“I paid forty bucks for that knife,” Sharon protested when I didn’t.

“Not enough, the deal was for a gun,” I said.

“Then I’ll just take it all back, how about that,” Sharon said.

I wanted to push her but I needed the stuff in order to kill Uncle Will so I didn’t. Instead I gave a little.

“Let’s see if it is good enough. If it does the job, you’ll get what you want.”

“How will I know if it did the job?” Sharon asked.

“Next time you see me, if I’m alive, that’ll be your sign,” I told her, and did that nodding thing I had done before, toward the door, telling Sharon to leave.

“Wait, I have something else,” Sharon said.

“What?” I asked.

“This,” She said, and she pulled a smooth, flat, yellowish brown stone from a front pocket and put it in the center of my hand.

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